Guys, I've just had a most enlightening experience and I thought I'd share.
Tonight, I tried to help my dog shave his nutsack for his upcoming date.
Tonight, things went horribly wrong.
Now I am left with not but a single nipple, 4 empty tubs of vaseline and many, many regrets.
Moral of the story? Spay and neuter your pets.
Immoral of the story? Surgeons aren't willing to attach a dog testicle in place of a missing tit. I was unaware of this.
I was also unaware that police officers' jobs include asking citizens to pee into cups and asking them a bunch of funny questions.
In conclusion, surgeons are wasteful bastards. Case and point.